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*Link, Zelda, Mido and Ganondorf are driving to the studio in Links car. Zelda is sitting in the back with Mido and Ganon is sitting in the front with Link*

Link: Ganondorf, can't you drive yourself?

Ganondorf: I can't. My cars all busted up.

Mido: How did that happen?

Ganondorf: Crash up derby.

*Flashback of demo derby. Ganon is competing against Darunia, Talon and Impa*

Darunia: Your mine Ganondorf! Take this!

*Talon slams into Ganons car*

Ganondorf: HEY! Watch it! I need to drive this to the show tommo....*Impa crashes into Ganon, causing him to hit his head on the steering wheel* OW! Damn thats gonna leave a mark!

*Back to Links car*

Link: You need to take better care of your cars Ganon because I can't keep driving you to the studio.

Ganondorf: Why? Doesn't seem so bad *Smokes a ciggerete*.

Zelda: That's why. You keep smoking and every once in a while you burn the seats. You said you were going to quit.

Ganondorf: I was but It's so freakin dificult.

Mido: Maybe you can rent a car.

Ganondorf: Are you kidding me? Ingo sells the worst damn cars in Hyrule city.

*Flashback of Ingo's used car lot*

Ganondorf: So your saying that this car will never ever fall apart. No matter how hard it's hit.

Ingo: That's right. Pretty cool huh?

Ganondorf: I don't know. It looks a bit unstable to me.

Ingo: Are you kidding me? A train couldn't wreck this car *Pats the car on the roof. The car suddenly falls apart*.

Ganondorf: Oh, really?

Ingo: Ummm....I got a better car if you want it.

Ganondorf: Don't bother *Walks away*.

Ingo: No wait! The other car is a bargain. It's got a special discount. Surely you can't back down on...*Ganon throws a muffler at Ingo, hitting him in the groin. Ingo falls to the ground, clutching his nuts*. OWWW! DAMMIT!!! NOT GOOD!!

*Back to Link's car*

Ganondorf: I'm not buying or renting a thing from that ugly pricks car lot.

Link: Well, I'm not going to have ciggerete burns all over my car!

Ganondorf:*Under his breath* Yeah, whatever. You puny jerk. I ought to kick you little ass!

Link: What? What did you just say to me?!

Ganondorf: Oh, nothing. I was just talking to myself.

Zelda: And why do you keep downloading music on my computer? Can't you get your own!?

Ganondorf: Are we there yet?!

*A while later the group is at the studio*

Link: Greetings I am Link. Please say hello to my beutiful wife Princess Zelda. My friend Mido. And my arch nemesis Ganondorf. Welcome to the Link Show.

*The audience applauds loudly*

Link:Joining me tonight is...*Link is interupted by Zelda's drumroll*

Link: Is that necesary, Zelda?

Zelda: I am preparing for the guests announcment.

Link: Oh, ok. Go ahead. Tonight our guest is *Drummrole begins again* Princess Ruto.

*The audience applauds again*

Link: Ganondorf, if you will.

*Ganondorf is sleeping in his chair*

Mido: I'll wake him up. *Takes a paper bag and blows it up. He walks up to Ganondorf and pops it right next to his ear*.

Ganondorf: OH! What the hell was that? Umm...what's wrong with my ears?

Mido: What the hell do you mean?

Ganondorf: What? I can't hear you very well! Speak up forest boy.

Link: Just raise the curtain, Ganon!

Ganondorf: Praise the hurting cannon? What the hell does that mean?

Mido: I'll do it. *Mido raises the curtain to reveal Ruto looking at herself in a small mirror*.

Ruto: Oh, hello everyone. Thank you for inviting me to the show tonight.

Link: Your very welcome, Ruto. Please have a seat.

*Ruto sits down and starts to ogle Link*

Link: So, how is your father?

Ruto: Oh, a little older, fatter and lazier. He's watching the show from the Zora Palace.

*King Zora in his throne room is watching the show. He is sitting in his rickety throne while eating chicken wings drinking beer*

King Zora: That's my little princess *Belches and breaks his throne under his weight. The King falls on his back*

King Zora: Dammit! Not again that's the third throne this week. *Throws the broken throne into a pile of several dozen others*

*Back to the show*

Ruto: Link, I know your married to Zelda but you know that I love you, right?

Link: Of course I do. You mean as a friend right?

Ruto: Well, slightly more than that.

Zelda: You and Link went to high school right?

Ruto: Yeah, I was one of the noobs.

Ganondorf:*Still unable to hear properly from the paper bag* What? You say you won your boobs? I thought they grew on you?

Ruto: Pervert!

Mido: No, I popped a paper bag in his ear so he can't hear too well.

Ruto: Oh, well I still don't like him. He was so annoying to me at high school.

*Flashback of Ruto and Ganondorf in high school*

Ganondorf: Hey, Ruto. How's about a date?

Ruto: Why the hell would I go out with a creep like you?

Ganondorf: Surely you can't resist a man like me *Smooths his hair and smiles*.

Ruto: Sorry, Ganon. I have my sights set on Link. He's much more polite than you. What about Nabooru? She likes you?

Ganondorf: Well, she's always so dramatic and stuff. I'm not sure if things will work out between the two of us.

*Back to the show*

Ruto: Still, Ganondorf isn't so bad today. At least he doesn't get drunk as often as he used to.

Mido: True, but when he drinks even a little bit it goes right up to his head.

Ganondorf: I don't want to go to bed. It's only 4:30.

Mido: No, I said head, not bed.

Link: Just leave him, Mido. I'll send him to the ear doctor later. Ruto, your a Zora so your a proffesional swimmer, right?

Ruto: Oh, absolutely. I have dozens of swimming competition tropheys at home. There are few Zoras that can beat me.

Zelda: I was at a few of the competitions. I won 3rd place.

Link: Cool, but who won 2nd and 3rd place?

Ruto: I won second and my brother Bruto won 1st. He's a little bit better than me but I'm going to show that runt who's the best.

Ganondorf: I can't hear you. Speak up!

Zelda: Allright, I'm taking you to the doctor. Come on Ganondorf.

Link: But what about the show?

Zelda: Don't worry we'll be back before the show is over.

*Zelda and Ganondorf drive away*

Ganondorf: Where are we going? The show isn't over yet.

Zelda: We're going to have your ears checked out.

Ganondorf: What's that? You say you want your rear checked out? It doesn't look so sexy in that dress to me.

Zelda:*Slaps her forehead* No, hold on.*Stops the car for a second and writes "Your going to the docor to have your ears checked out" on piece of paper and gives it to Ganondorf*.

Ganondorf: Oh, the doctor. Yeah, I can't hear shit. That little bastard Mido must have done this while I was sleeping.

Zelda: You should have stayed awake.

Ganondorf: What do you mean slay a rake. That's stupid...oh wait I can't hear too well. Never mind.

*Back to the show*

Ruto: Tell me Link, do you enjoy having Zelda as a wife.

Link: Of course I do. She's charming, polite and sweet. I love her with all my heart.

*The audience awes*

Ruto: Mm-hmm. And what about me?

Link: Well, I do love you but I'm afraid that I'm not in love with you. Sorry, Ruto but I could never leave Zelda.

Ruto: Oh, really. Your saying that you can't resist a beutiful Zora like me.

Link: Well...um...I..uh...

Ruto:*Casually sits on Link's desk* You can't resist a young, passionate women like me?

Link:*Thinking to himself* Is it just me or am I being succesfully seduced by Zora. Whatever it is, I like it somehow*.

Ruto: You can ignore my stunning and irresistable beuty? I find that hard to believe, Link.

Link:*Looks around nervously* Umm...can we talk in the back room for a second?

Ruto: Sure, I guess.

*Ruto and Link leave the studio. Mido is the only one there. Darunia comes into the studio with a mop and pale and starts cleaning the floor*

Darunia: Hey, where is everybody?

Mido: Ganondorf and Zelda are out and Link and Ruto are umm... talking.

*Link and Ruto are in the back room. There is a small bed inside*

Ruto: Look, Link. I know you love Zelda but my jelously is...*Link launches himself at Ruto, they both fall on the bed* Whoa! Easy, Link.

Link: Shut up and take off your clothes! I have to see that rack of yours!

Ruto: Link, I don't have any clothes.

Link: Oh, I thought you were wearing transparant clothes or something.

*Link and Ruto start to make love. Back to Mido and Darunia*

Mido: I'm going to order a pizza. You wan't anything?

Darunia: No thanks. I gotta get home soon. Seeya later.

Mido: Ok, seeya.

*Back to the doctors office. Zelda is reading a newspaper while Ganondorf is reading a porno mag*

Zelda: Ganon, you naughty Gerudo.

Ganondorf: I can't help it.

Doctor: Mr. Ganon, please follow me.

Zelda: Let's go Ganondorf. Follow me.

*Ganon and Zelda walk into a small operating room*

Doctor: Allright, hold still Mr. Ganondorf *The doctor takes a potion and puts a few drops in Ganons ear. Within seconds Ganondorf can hear again*

Ganondorf: Hey! I can hear again. Thanks doc.

Doctor: Any time, heres your lolly pop.

Ganondorf: Oh, goody. Do I look like a freakin kid to you!? *Ganon slaps the lolly pop out of the doctors hand*

Zelda: Ganondorf! That was rude!

Ganondorf: Let's just get back to the damn studio.

*Zelda and Ganon drive back to the studio. Mido is eating pizza at his desk*

Zelda: Link, we're back.

Ganondorf: Hey! Let me have some of that pizza *Grabs a few slices*.

*Link and Ruto come back after having sex in the back room*

Link: Hey, Zelda. How's Ganondorf doing?

Zelda: Ummm...he's fine. Link, why aren't you wearing any pants?

Link: It was getting hot in here so I decided to take them off. I love the breeze. Oh, look at the time. Well that wraps up tonights show, goodnight everyone.


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