Attack of the Poser
Link went into the lost woods because you know he like needed hearts because he had just lost and ugly battle with Ganon. Anyway he decided to play Saria’s Song for the skull kid cause he wanted his heart piece. But just then Saria came in, “Link you haven’t come to visit me at all!” but just then the skull kid spoke.
“Do you know who I am?!”
“Uhh NO!”
“Hey Link isn’t that Jessica Simpson’s sister?”
“Ugh I’m Ashley!”
“Shoot her quick!” but it was too late...she disappeared and from the castle they could see...smoke! “Is she putting on a concert?”
“Saria how stupid are you? Number one she’s a poser, number two she’s related to Jessica Simpson...she’s obviously burning people and setting fire to the castle.”
“Too shay Mr. Zelda...”
“Shut up before I kill you!”
They ran off to the caslte to find it in nothing but a heap of charred ashes. “Oh great now where am I gonna live?” Zelda complained. But Link was more concerned with the whereabouts of the renegade pop singer. They heard the faint sound of square dance music coming from Lon Lon Ranch. They took off towards there to find Ashley having a ho down while holding the residents of the ranch hostage.
“Link we have to stop her! Link? Link stop ho downing and get your ass over here!” but it was to late Link died...Ha ha just kidding! What kind of a game would it be without Link? “Now kick her ass Link!” but Ingo beat him to it.
“Damn poser get off my lawn!” screamed Ingo. Ingo killed Ashley Simpson!
“Good job you offly peculiar Luigi looking son of a bitch!” haza and Link still gets praised for Ingo’s work.
