Post Your Own Work

 New Fan Works  Old Fan Works  Zelda Series  Multimedia  Features  Interactive  Site Info
[Reviews - 20] Printer
- Text Size +
*Link, Zelda, Ganon and Mido are at the bar. Link and Zelda are talking to eachother, Ganondorf is getting drunk and Mido is thinking up jokes for the show*

Zelda: So Link what are your plans for today. Are you going to be busy after the show.

Link: Me busy. Hell no I'm free for the whole week. How's about you and me go to the movies on saturday baby.

Ganondorf: *hicups* Hey...Link you want to see me drink a bottle of beer in a single gulp *belches*.

Link: Ewww! Ganon your breath smells like paint fumes.

Mido: Thats because I put paint in his water and told him it was just food coloring.

Ganondorf: Ahh you little punk. I'm gonna kick your puny ass.

*Ganon get's up and swings his fist at Mido but misses and hits the bartender by accident.

Bartender:OW!!! *falls down unconsious*

Zelda: Ganon you better stop drinking so much. Last time you drank this much you vommited on an old lady.

Link: *Laughs* Yeah and then she started hitting you with her purse.

Ganondorf: Shut up you little uh...whoa *loses his balance and falls to the ground*

Bartender: *wakes up with a black eye* Hey! You hit me you stupid Gerudo.

Link: I think we'd better get to the studio.

*at the studio Link, Zelda, Mido and Ganondorf sit at their desks*

Link: Hello and welcome ladies and gentleman to the Link show. Please say hello to my wife and musicion Zelda. My comedian Mido and my directer Ganondorf. *The audience cheers*

Link: Please welcome my guest, Impa. Ganon please lower the...hey? Where the hell did he go?!

*Ganon isn't sitting at his chair. He is in the audience stand talking to a girl*

Girl: Get away from me you freak!

Ganondorf: *hicups* Hey baby..hows it going. Hows about you and me go to the movies or something...yeah, heh heh.

*The girl reaches into her pocket book and maces Ganondorf*

Girl: Eat pepper spray you ugly loser!

Ganondorf: *covers his eyes in pain* AHHH! My eyes! I can't see wheres my desk...WHOA! *Ganondorf falls down the audience stand*

Link:GANONDORF!!! Get your pathetic ass behind your desk and pull up the curtain.

Impa: *from behind the curtain* Whats going on in there?

Ganondorf: Oh...ok. *pulls a lever that turns on the emergency sprinkler system* Whoops wrong one oh here we go *pulls the right lever and the curtain opens up to reveal Impa*

Link:You idiot! Now the whole set is soaked and so is my new tunic.

Zelda: You ruined my hair!

Mido: You ruined my new joke book! The pages are all soggy! How the hell am I gonna entertain the audience you big lumax!

Impa: Hey why is everything all wet...WHOA! *Impa slips on the wet floor and falls*Ow my head!

Ganondorf:*Laughs* Oh man...now thats funny *burps loudly*

Link:*Takes his coffee mug and throws it at Ganon. It smashes on his head* Take that you drunken weirdo!

Ganondorf:OW!!! HOT COFFEE! HOT! HOT!

Zelda: Nice one Link. That should shut him up for a while.

Link: Welcome to the show Impa. Please have a seat and ignore Ganon he's just a little drunk tonight.

Impa: Jeepers! I've never seen Ganondorf like this. No wonder his speech is all slurred.

Ganondorf: Hey Impa *Hicup* hows about a date. Heh heh, I know you want me.

Impa: If you touch me I'm calling the cops!

Link: Allright. Calm down you 2. Anyway Impa how has your life been now that Zelda is no longer a child and therefore does not need you as a bodyguard anymore?

Impa:Well life has been pretty good. I went back to Kakariko village only to find that some moron moved into my house so I kicked him out.

Mido:Isnt that the house with the cow in it?

Impa:Yeah! That stupid cow made the house smell like crap. It took me 6 bottles of air fresehener to get that foul smell out.

Zelda:How unfortunate. Something like that happened to a friend of mine. She stood too close to a candle in her room and her hair caught on fire.

Link:Whoa! Burning hair smells bad you know.

Zelda:Exactly. The smell didn't go away for 3 days.

Ganondorf:*holds up a beer bottle* Hey guys look. *he takes some gasoline and a rag and makes a molotov cocktail* Look, a molotov cocktail.*belches* Me and my friends make these all the time and we burn stuff. Heh heh...yeah..I love fire.

Mido:Hey be careful with that. Setting stuff on fire isn't funny.

Ganondorf: Bah! Youre a mediocre comedian...whoops. *drops the molotov cocktail and Ganon is engulfed in flames*

Zelda: *puts her hands to her face* OH MY GOD!!

Ganondorf:AHHHHHH!!! OHHH GOD!!! HELP!. Ganondorf jumps from his desk and runs around in circles, screaming*

Link: Hold on Ganondorf! *Grabs a fire extinguisher and puts Ganon out* Err...are you ok?!

Ganondorf: *coughs* I think so. How do I look?

Link: You look freaking horr..uh...I mean you look great.

Zelda: I'll call an ambulance *takes out her cell phone*. Hello, police. My friend is hurt please send an ambulance to Hyrule studio. Thanks, bye.

Ganondorf:Ohh...man. I am in so much pain now.

Mido: Well thats what you get for playing with fire.

*the ambulance arrives and takes Ganondorf away*

Doctor:He'll be ok but his face is ruined. He should be back in shape in a few weeks.

Link:Ok, thanks.

*doctor walks out. Ambulance drives away*

Impa: Poor Ganon. I actually feel sorry for the poor bastard.

*long pause*

Link, Zelda, Mido and Impa:Oh well.

Link:Anything else you'd like to tell us Impa?

Impa:Yeah. I got a new car. It's a red hummer. I can't believe how big they are.

Mido: Oh man, I've always wanted a hummer. How did you manage to pay for it?

Impa:I didn't. I stole it from the guy who used to live in my house.

Zelda:So that's why that guy walks home from work.

Link:Ok since we're almost out of time. Goodnight everyone and tune in next time for The Link Show.


Enter the security code shown below:
 Sections
The "Post Your Own Work" section is powered by eFiction. To get it for your site, go to www.efiction.org.