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Slightly inebriated at the moment which is why I'm prably why i"m askign this on a message board.
Okay so there's this girl she's we'll just call her Duke (long story...) and soemwhere along the line I became retarded for her. a mutual rfriend for ours was telling me a long time ago while I swas under the influence of aMbien (which is pretty much damn near a struth serum), we'll call her Kelchen, was telling me how she was always with douchags and stuff, andshe wanted Duke to be with somene who wasn't for once to show her that not all guys are like that and she can aim a lot higher than she has been recently. Having not been around her recently but remembering how I was hanging out with her for some time last summer, I somehwo started liking her way back when , and decided I'd step up for the occasion (even though I have low self esteem and I consider myself to be just one step above what a girl would call an asshole, I'm really mean to people and you gotta know me really well to realize that I genuinely care about everyone I know, even if I only know them a little bit...I mean the phrase between my best friend and me when we're messing aroudn is "fuck your shit man die in a fire"), she told me that she had a boyfriend at the moment, who was also a douchebag who pretty much ignored her and blew her off, making excuses to not hang out with her and whatnot.
Well months flew by and I never really talked to her about it for a long time, except I hadn't seen her in forever because my other friend, we'll call her Pickle, kept stealing all my time because she wanted to be with her boyfriend and I'm the group driver (I have a problem saying no to people, and she was obsessed with the man up until they broke up in January), and since Pickle has this huge-ass problem with Kelchen and none of us know why, Pickle ninjas the whole crew and Kelchen doesn't get much of a chance to hang with us. As such, she told another friend of ours, we'll call him Koopa, to text me (she doesn't have texting) to tell me that she has information o na girl tI like, but she'll only tell me if I hang out with her. Now, not to be shallow 'cause I was honestly trying so hard this entire time to get Pickle to at LEAST deal with Kelchen every so often so that the crew wouldn't get split up (Pickle is my ex too and still had me by the balls eve n though she was dating YET ANOTHER friend who we'll call Thumper, they're both ninjas so they were good for each other), I called up Kelchen and we made plans for a couple days from then.
To save my own ass on this situation, I'll just explain that when I was hanging with Pickle she pretty much always made plans for the next day, so I never really had a chance to actually call Kelchen up and makes plans with her. I told Pickle taht I was really curious as to what Kelchen had to say, and she finally obliged to let her own ass sit at home for one goddamn day (sorry, I'm pissed at myself still for not bringing Kelchen along more) so that I could hang out with Kelchen, on the pretense for the information, but really just to get a bloody break from everyone I saw every damn day.
So anyway, Kelchen informs me that Duke just became single, and that we should hang out with her sometime soon. So that very day actually, we go and get her and we're all chilling at my house and I just realize that all the feelings I had for her over the summer were still there, and it felt pretty damn amazing just to be in her presence.
Well things were going seemingly quite well, I talked to her online more often, we talked on the phone sometimes, she set the precedence to text (she has Centennial and I have Verizon, I didn't wanna be a dick and run her phone bill up unless she didn't really care and instigated it) and somewhere along the lines I went completely retarded for the girl. It seemed like she liked me al ot too.
But then a couple weeks ago thigns kinda went bad. I was at a friend's party (which I feel like a complete asshole 'cause hse wanted it to be a dry party) and Kelchen's cousin agreed to buy me some alcohol. Ironically he and I have the same name. As it so happened he bought me two gases of Mike's hard and we drank most of them down the street from the party so I could coast back over and not have any problems driving around. All three of us were rather drunk. Then I somehow ended up walking around the neighborhood and upon returning Kelchen comes up to me looking all sorts of pissed, like destroying civilizations and toppling buildings sorta pissed, and said that Duke and her cousin were making out in my car. Being still a little gone myself I didn't really kno how to react but I kept my cool, 'cause I figured it's not like we had some sorta monogamy agreement between me and Duke, we just liked each other and her cousin pretty much had more balls than I did to make a move.
Something I forgot to mention was we went to a concert the Sunday before the party and she got a concussion from the mosh pit, and she was being all sorts of hazy for a while, and then being drunk on top of that, she was sorta not really all the way right in the head. But the next day she apologized profusely to me and I acted cool about it telling her it really wasn't a huge deal and she didn't need to apologize, but she was telling me how she THOUGHT she was in a relationship now but she had no idea and realy none of us know because she doesn't have the never to approach him and ask him if they are dating or what's going on.
the interesting thing though, is maybe two weeks after that incident, I was on Ambien again and I don't remember what exactly happened (I took two that night, stupid mistake) and all I remember is being on the phone with her and she said "if nobody cares about you then why am I crying for you right now?" and then being in a field and Kelchen and her sister were chasing after me. Then the next morning I woke up and on my Yahoo messenger logs we eneded up having this rather interseting conversation where she was saying she didn't know what she would do if I were gone and ssaying things like "who else would drive me home from a concert and deal with my concussion ass" or something like that. I told her taht's just how much I liked her, and it just sucked that the other guy got to her first 'cause of all taht, and she told me she still really liked me and that she doesn't know how long her other realztion ship would last because "it's all blah" and whatnot, and when I asekd her if she'd wanna be with me if she weren't in that relationship she said she'd like that. So I don't know.
As of late I've been hanging out with her still, and we have a lot of fun when we're together, she calls me at random, sometimes at odd hours of the night, and I'll act like I wasn't just asleep so she wouldn't just tell me she'll let me go back to sleep and get off the phone. I'll talk to her for hours on end, or when we're together we'll just drive around to random places or find something to do even when there's really nothing to do...she's good at that. I'll say or do stupid things just so I can hear her laugh, I let her do damn near anything she wants to do to me (last night she put all sorts of odd things onme , lip gloss and eye shadow and such just 'cause she was sitting on my lap while she was doing it and I figured it was worth it for that) or we're both really ticklish so we'll get in tickle fights all the damn time, just stupid things that make me like her even more. Yeah she's cute, she's downright sexy, but that's been her downfall with the other guys she's been with and I coudln't care less how she looked, because I neverh ave more fun than when I'm with her.
So my question is, should I stick it out and see what happens with her, or move on and try to forget how much I like her?
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