The Dragmire of Gerudo
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"The Dragmire of Gerudo", Act I, Scenes 1-5

The Dragmire of Gerudo
By: Arthur Dent

Character Conversions

Character in Hyrule, Termina
Character in original play
Ganondorf Dragmire (Ganon)
The Phantom of the Opera
Princess Zelda
Heroine/female lead
Christine Daaé
Link, Hero of Time
Hero/male lead
Raoul, Vicomte de Chagny
Mayor Dotour
Bumbling manager
Monsieur Firmin
Flat the Younger
Bumbling manager
Monsieur Andre
Princess Ruto
Prima donna
Carlotta Giudicelli
The exalted Nabooru
Know a lot about the villain and deliver some ominous notes
Mme. Giry
Ubaldo Zora
Attend to the Prima donna
Ubaldo Piangi
Happy Mask Salesman (Malsio)
Play the piano, direct the practicing actors
Monsieur Reyer
Potion Shop Man
Try to sell rare items
Deku Link
Hired marksman/actor
Marksman/Fop in "Il Muto"
Heroine's best friend
Meg Giry
Manage the opera and retire
Monsieur Lefevre
Dampé the Gravedigger
Manage the flies above the opera stage
Joseph Buquet
Don Rebonack/Iron Knuckle
Help the villain
Don Atillio (in "Il Muto"), Passarino
Master Angler
Help the managers
Keep the opera secure
Shiro the inconspicuous soldier
Be inconspicuous and helpful
Page (in "Don Juan Triumphant")
Put fires out
Be helpful
Page (in "Don Juan Triumphant")
Mamamu Yan
Provide fancy jewels
Fop in "Il Muto"
Listen to the latest gossip
Wardrobe Mistress/Confidante (in "Il Muto")
Madame Aroma
Criticize her husband
Mme. Firmin
Gerudo and Hylian chorus
Sing well when it is called for
Ballet and Girl's chorus
Hylian and Goron chorus
Sing well when it is called for
Men's Chorus

Note: Flat the Younger, unlike Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask, is alive. He tends to wear a green shirt and brown pants, both in a very formal style.
Prologue-Auctioning the Items Off
(The treasures of Hyrule Castle are being auctioned off. The Potion Shop Man sits in front of a table in the ruined Great Hall, with a porter [Darunia] nearby. Link, an old man wearing green with a cane nearby, sits with a loyal guard on either side of his chair off to the left. There are two ragged flags still hanging, one on either side of the Potion Shop Man, both featuring the symbol on the Hylian Shield.)
Potion Shop Man - Sold! Your number, sir? Thank you. Lot 663, then, ladies and gentlemen: a poster for this kingdom's production of "Valorous" by Sharp the Elder.

Darunia - Showing here.

Potion Shop Man - Do I have ten Rupees? Five then. Five I am bid. Six, seven. Against you, sir, seven. Eight, eight once, selling twice, sold to Link, former King of Hyrule. Lot 664: a wooden pistol and three human skulls, from the 1831 production of "Robert le Diable" by Meyerbeer. Ten Rupees for this. Ten, thank you. Ten Rupees still. Fifteen, thank you, sir. Fifteen I am bid. Going at fifteen. Your number, sir? Lot 665, ladies, and gentlemen: a papier-mache musical box in the shape of a windmill. Attached is the figure of a Sheikah male in ragged clothes, playing the gramophone. This item discovered in the dungeons of the castle, still in working order.

Darunia - (holding it up) Showing here. (He sets it in motion, and we hear "Masquerade" with Windmill Music behind it)

Potion Shop Man - May I start at twenty Rupees? Fifteen? Fifteen, I am bid. (The bidding continues. Link eventually buys it for thirty Rupees) Sold to the former King of Hyrule, thank you, sir.

(The box is handed to Link. He studies it, as attention focuses on him for the moment)

Link (quietly, half to himself, half to the box) - A collector's piece, indeed every detail, exactly as she said. She often spoke of you, my friend, your linen lining, and your figurine of lead. Will you still play, when all the rest of us are dead?

(Attention returns to the Potion Shop Man, as he resumes)

Potion Shop Man - Lot 666, then, a chandelier in pieces. Some of you may recall the strange affair of the Dragmire of the Gerudo, a mystery never fully explained. We are told, ladies and gentlemen, that this is the very chandelier which figures in the famous disaster. Our gnomish workshops have restored it and fitted up parts of it with wiring for the new electric light so that we may get a hint of what it may look like when reassembled. Perhaps we may frighten away the ghost of so many years ago with a little illumination, gentlemen?

(The Potion Shop Man switches on the chandelier. There is an enormous flash, and the overture begins. During the overture, the castle returns to its earlier grandeur. The chandelier, immense and glittering, rises magically from the stage, finally hovering high above the stalls.)

Act I, Scene I - Rehearsals for "Valorous" by Sharp the Elder

[We have reached the great choral scene in which Hannibal and his army returns to save Valtare from the Tarmite invasion under Scipio. Valorous is Ubaldo Zora; Elissa, Queen of Valtare (his mistress) is Princess Ruto. Impa and Princess Zelda are playing the two leading Slave Girls. Nabooru is the ballet mistress. The Happy Mask Salesman, the repetiteur, is in charge. We join the opera towards the end of Elissa's (Ruto's) great aria. She is alone holding a present from the approaching Hannibal-a bleeding severed head.]

Ruto (at the climax of an extravagant cade) - This trophy from our saviors, the enslaving Force of Tarm!

(A stagehand carries a ladder across the stage. Others are still constructing parts of the scenery.)

Gerudo/Hylian Chorus - With feasting and dancing and song, tonight in celebration, we greet the victorious throng, returned to bring salvation!

Hylian/Goron Chorus - The trumpets of Valtare resound! Hear, Tarmites, now and tremble! Hark to our step on the ground!

All - Hear the drums - Valorous comes!

(Piangi enters, as Valorous)

Ubaldo Zora (Valorous) - Sad to return to find the land we love, threatened once more by Tarme's far-reaching grasp.

Happy Mask Salesman (interrupting him) - Signor . if you please: "Tarm." We say "Tarm," not "Tarme."

Zora - Si, si, Tarm, not Tarme. Is very hard for me. (Practicing) Tarm. Tarm.

(Enter Mutoh, the retiring custodian of the Castle, with Mayor Dotour and Flat the Younger, to whom he has just sold it.)

Happy Mask (to Zora) - Once again, then, if you please, Signor: "Sad to return."

Mutoh (to Dotour and Flat) - This way, gentlemen, this way. Rehearsals, as you see, are under way, for a new production of Chalumeau's "Hannibal."

(Sensing a hiatus in the rehearsal, Lefevre attempts to attract attention)

Mutoh - Ladies and gentlemen, some of you may already, perhaps, have met Mayor Dotour and Flat the Younger.

(The new managers are politely bowing, when Happy Mask Salesman interrupts)

Malsio- I'm sorry, kuzoi Mutoh, we are rehearsing. If you wouldn't mind waiting a moment?

Mutoh - My apologies, kuzoi Malsio. Proceed, proceed.

Malsio - Thank you, kuzoi. (Turning back to Zora) "Sad to return .," Signor .

Mutoh - (sotto voice to Andre and Firmin) Mister Malsio, our chief repetiteur. Rather a tyrant, I'm afraid.

(The rehearsal continues)

Zora (Valorous) - Sad to return to find the land we love threatened once more by Tarm's far-reaching grasp. Tomorrow we break the chains of Tarm. Tonight, rejoice, your army has come home.

(The Ballet Girls [Gerudo and Hylians] begin their dance. Mutoh, Flat, and Dotour stand center-stage watching the ballet. They are in the way. The ballet continues under the following dialogue.)

Mutoh - (indicating Zora) Signor Zora, our principal tenor. He does play so well opposite La Ruto Bella.

Nabooru- (Exasperated by their presence, advances on them with her scimitars) Gentlemen, please! If you would kindly move to one side?

Mutoh - My apologies, kuzinoi Nabooru. (Leading Andre and Firmin). Kuzinoi Nabooru, our (stage whisper) rather overbearing (normal voice) ballet mistress. If I don't mind confessing, Mayor Dotour, I shan't be sorry to be rid of the whole blessed business.

Dotour - I keep asking you, monsieur, why exactly are you retiring?

Mutoh - (ignoring this, calls his attention to the continuing ballet) We take a particular pride here in the excellence of our ballets.

(Impa becomes prominent among the dancers)

Flat - Who's that girl, Mutoh?

Mutoh - Her? She is Impa, from eastern Kakariko. Promising dancer, Kuzoi Flat, most promising

(Zelda becomes prominent. She has absent-mindedly fallen out of step.)

Nabooru - (spotting her, again waving a scimitar at her) You! Zelda Hilana! Concentrate, girl!

Impa - (quietly, to Zelda) Zelda.what's the matter?

Dotour- (to Mutoh) Hilana? Curious name.

Mutoh-It comes from the Old Hylian.

Flat- Any relation to the old King?

Mutoh- His daughter, I believe. Always has her head in the clouds, I'm afraid.

(The ballet continues to its climax and ends. The Chorus resumes)

Chorus - Bid welcome to Hannibal's guests - the elephants of Valtare! As guides on our conquering quests, Drakan sends Hannibal's friends!

(The elephant, a life-size mechanical replica, enters. Others lift Zora, in triumph, onto its back.)

Ruto (Elissa) - Once more to my welcoming arms my love returns in splendor!

Zora (Valorous) - Once more to those sweetest of charms, my heart and soul surrender!

Chorus - The trumpeting elephants sound - hear, Tarmites, now and tremble! Hark to their step on the ground - hear the drums! Valorous comes!

(At the end of the chorus, Mutoh claps his hand for silence. Some pages lead it off. Two pages are revealed operating it from within)

Mutoh- Ladies and gentlemen - Kuzinoi Nabooru, thank you - may I have your attention please? As you know, for weeks there have been rumors of my imminent retirement. I can now tell you that these were all true, and it is my pleasure to introduce to you the two gentlemen who now serve as custodians of Hyrule Castle, Mayor Richard Dotour and Flat the Younger. (Polite applause with some bowing. Ruto makes her presence felt.) Gentlemen, Princess Ruto of the Zora, our leading soprano for five seasons now.

Flat- Of course, of course. I have experienced all your greatest roles, Signora.

Mutoh- And Signor Ubaldo Zora.

Dotour- An honor, Signor.

Flat- If I remember rightly, Elissa has a rather fine aria in Act Three of "Valorous." I wonder, Signora, if, as a personal favor, you would oblige us with a private rendition. (somewhat acerbic) Unless, of course, M. Malsio objects .

Ruto- My manager commands . M. Malsio?

Malsio- My diva commands. Will two bars be sufficient introduction?

Dotour- Two bars will be quite sufficient.

Malsio (ensuring that Carlotta is ready) - Signora?

Ruto- Maestro.

(Malsio plays the introduction on his piano, which lies toward the right of the stage)

Ruto- Think of me, think of me fondly, when we've said goodbye! Remember me, once in a while; please promise me you'll try! When you find, that once again you long to take your heart...

(As Ruto is singing, a backdrop crashes to the stage separating her from half the cast)

Impa/Ballet Girls/Chorus - He's here, the Dragmire of Gerudo! He's with us! It's Lord Ganon! (This is said twice.)

Zora (looking up, furiously) - You idiots! (He rushes over to Ruto) Cara! Cara! Are you hurt?

Mutoh- Signora! Are you all right? Dampé! Where is Dampé?

Zora- Is no one concerned for our prima donna?

Mutoh - Get that man down here! (to Flat and Dotour) Chief of the flies. He's responsible for this.

(The drop is raised high enough to reveal upstage an old stagehand, Dampé the gravedigger, holding a length of rope, which looks almost like a noose.)

Mutoh - Dampé! For God's sake, man, what's going on up there?

Dampé - Please, monsieur, don't look at me: as Farore's my witness, I was not at my post. Please, monsieur, there's no one there: and if there is, well then, it must be a ghost.

Impa- (looking up) He's there, the Dragmire of Gerudo.

Flat- Good heavens, will you show a little courtesy!

Dotour (to Impa and the Others) - Mademoiselle, please!

Flat (to Ruto) - These things do happen...

Ruto- Si! These things do happen! Well, until you stop these things happening, this thing does not happen! Ubaldo, andiamo! (Zora dutifully fetches her waterproofed furs from the wings)

Zora- Amateurs!

Mutoh - I don't think there's much more to assist you, gentlemen. Good luck. If you need me, I shall be in Lynna.

(He leaves. The Company looks uneasily at the new Managers)

Flat - La Ruto Bella will be back.

Nabooru - You think so, messieurs? I have a message, sir, (brandishing a note with the Gerudo seal) from the Desert King.

(The girls twitter and twirl in fear.)

Dotour - Great Four Giants in heaven, you're all obsessed!

Nabooru- He merely welcomes you to his castle and commands you to continue to leave Box Five empty for his use and reminds you that his salary is due.

Dotour - His salary?

Nabooru - Monsieur Mutoh paid him twenty thousand Rupees a month. Perhaps you can afford more, with the Hero of Time as your patron.

(Reaction to this from the Ballet Girls. Zelda takes hold of Impa nervously.)

Flat(to Nabooru) - Kuzinoi, I had hoped to have made that announcement myself.

Nabooru(to Dotour) - Will the Hero be at the performance tonight, monsieur?

Dotour- In our box.

Flat - Kuzinoi, who is the understudy for this role?

Malsio - There is no understudy, monsieur - the production is new.

Impa - Zelda Hilana could sing it, sir.

Dotour - The chorus girl?

Impa (to Dotour) - She's been taking lessons from a great teacher.

Flat - From whom?

Zelda - (uneasily) I don't know, sir.

Dotour - Oh, not you as well! (Turning to Flat) Can you believe it? A full house - and we have to cancel!

Nabooru - Let her sing for you, monsieur. She has been well taught.

Malsio - (after a pause) From the beginning of the aria then, maji.

Zelda - Think of me, think of me fondly, when we've said goodbye. Remember me, once in a while; please promise me you'll try. When you find, that once again you long to take your heart back and be free... If you ever find, a moment, spare a thought for me...

(Transformation to the Gala. We see Zelda in full costume)

Zelda - We never said, our love was evergreen or as unchanging as the sea... But if you can still remember, stop, and think of me... Think of all the things we've shared and seen don't think about the things which might have been. Think of me, think of me, waking silent and resigned... Imagine me trying too hard to put you from my mind... Recall those days, look back on all those times... Think of the things we'll never do; there will never be a day, when I won't think of you!

(Applause, bravos. Prominent among the bravos, those of Link, in the Managers' box)

Link - Can it be? Can it be Zelda? Bravo! (He raises his opera glasses) What a change! You're really not a bit the clumsy girl that once you were... (Lowering his opera-glasses) She may not remember me... But I remember her...

Zelda - We never said our love was evergreen or as unchanging as the sea... But please promise me that sometimes you will think of me!

Scene 2 - After the Gala

(The curtain closes upstage. Ballet Girls, from the wings, gush around Zelda, who hands each a flower from her bouquet. Malsio stiffly gives his approval.)

Nabooru - (to Zelda) Yes, you did well. He will be pleased. (to the Dancers) And you! You were a disgrace tonight! Such stumbling! Such clumsiness! If I were not used to it, I should be dead! Here - we rehearse. Now!

(She emphasizes this with her scimitars. The Ballet Girls settle into rehearsal upstage, Nabooru keeping time with a flute. Variations of this continue throughout the scene.)

Angel of Music
(Zelda moves slowly downstage, away from the Dancers as her dressing room becomes visible. Unseen by her, Impa also moves away and follows her. As Zelda is about to open the dressing room door, she hears Ganon's voice out of nowhere.)
Ganon - Bravi, bravi, bravissimi...

(Zelda is bewildered by the voice. Impa, following has not heard it. Zelda turns in surprise and is relieved to see her)

Impa - Where in the world have you been hiding? Really, you were perfect! I only wish I knew your secret... Who is this new tutor?

Zelda (abstracted, entering the dressing room) - Father once spoke of an angel... I used to dream he'd appear... Now as I sing I can sense him and I know he's here! (trance-like) Here in this room, he calls me softly... Somewhere, inside, hiding... Somehow I know he's always with me... He, the unseen genius!

Impa (uneasily) - Zelda, you must have been dreaming . stories like this can't come true. Zelda, you're talking in riddles . and it's not like you.

Zelda - (not hearing her, ecstatic) Noble Agahnim! Guide and guardian! Grant to me your glory!

Impa (to herself) - Who is this angel? This...

Both - Noble Agahnim! Hide no longer - secret and strange Noble!

Zelda (darkly) - He's with me, even now...

Impa (bewildered) - Your hands are cold...

Zelda - All around me...

Impa - Your face, Zelda, it's white...

Zelda - It frightens me...

Impa - Don't be frightened.

(They look at each other. Nabooru's arrival interrupts the moment.)

Nabooru - Impa of Kakariko. Are you a dancer? Then come and practice. (Impa leaves and joins the Dancers.) My dear, I was asked to give you this.

(She hands Zelda a note, and exits. Zelda opens it and reads.)

Zelda - A blue Ocarina.the courtyard.Little Malon

Scene 3, Zelda's Dressing Room

(Meanwhile, Link, Flat, Dotour, and Madame Aroma appear, making their way towards the dressing room, the Managers in high spirits, bearing champagne.)

Flat - A tour de force! No other way to describe it!

Dotour - What a relief! Not a single refund!

Madame Aroma - Greedy.

Flat - Richard, I think we've made quite a discovery in Miss Hilana!

Dotour - (to Link, indicating Zelda's bedroom) Here we are, Kuzoi the Hero.

Link - Gentlemen, if you wouldn't mind. This is one visit I should prefer to make unaccompanied.

(He takes the champagne from Firmin)

Flat - As you wish, monsieur.

(They bow and move off.)

Dotour - They appear to have met before.

(Link knocks on the door and enters.)

Link - Princess Zelda, where is your Ocarina?

Zelda - Kuzoi?

Link - You can't have lost it. After all the trouble I took. I was just a Kokiri and soaked to the skin.

Zelda - Because you had to dive into the moat to fetch it. Oh, Link. So it is you!

Link - Zelda.

(They embrace and laugh. She moves away and sits at her dressing table.)

Little Malon

Link - "Little Malon.let her mind wander..."

Zelda - You remember that too.

Link (continuing) - "Little Malon thought, Am I fonder of masks..."

Both (Zelda joining in) - "...or of Moblins, of boots..."

Zelda - "Or of horses...or clocks..."

Link - Those picnics in the courtyard... "...or of chocolates..."

Zelda - Father playing the violin...

Link - As we read to each other dark stories of the Sheikah.

Zelda - "No, what I love best, Malon said, is when I'm asleep in my bed, and the Master of Magic weaves spells in my head..."

Both - "The Master of Magic weaves spells in my head!"

Zelda (turning in her chair to look at him) - Father said, "When I'm in heaven, child, I will send the Master of Magic to you." Well, Father is dead, Link, and I have been visited by the Master of Magic.

Link - No doubt of it. And now we'll go to supper!

Zelda - No, Link, the Master of Magic is very strict.

Link - I shan't keep you up late!

Zelda - No, Link...

Link - You must change. I must get my hat. Two minutes, Little Malon. (He hurries out)

Zelda - (calling after him) Link! (Quietly picking up her hand mirror) Things have changed, Link.

(Tremulous music. Zelda hears Ganon's voice, seemingly from behind her bedroom mirror.)

Ganon's Voice - Insolent boy! This slave of fashion, basking in your glory! Ignorant fool! This brave young suitor, sharing in my triumph!

Zelda (spellbound) - Wizard, I hear you... Speak - I listen! Stay by my side, guide me... Wizard... My soul was weak - forgive me! Enter at last, Master!

Ganon's Voice - Flattering child, you shall know me... See why in shadow I hide! Look at your face in the mirror - I am there, inside!

(The figure of Ganon becomes discernible behind the mirror, clad in the red robes [complete with eye mark] of Agahnim.)

Zelda - Master of Magic! Guide and guardian! Grant to me your glory! Master of Magic! Hide no longer! Come to me, strange wizard...

Ganon's Voice - I am your wizard... Come to me: Mistress of magic... (Zelda walks towards the glowing, shimmering glass. Meanwhile, Link has returned. He hears the voices and is puzzled. He tries the door. It is locked.)

Link - Whose is that voice...? Who is that in there...?

(Inside the room the mirror opens. Behind it, in an inferno of unearthly golden light, stands Lord Ganon. He reaches forward and takes Zelda firmly, but not fiercely, by the wrist. His touch is cold, and Zelda gasps.)

Ganon - I am your Master of Magic... Come to me: Mistress of Magic...

(Zelda disappears through the mirror, which closes behind her. The door of the dressing room suddenly unlocks and swings open, and Link enters to find the room empty)

Link - Zelda! Wizard!

Scene 4 - The Labyrinth Underground
(Lord Ganon and Zelda take their strange journey to Ganon's lair in the dungeons. Candles rise from the stage. We see Zelda and Ganon in a boat which moves slowly across the misty waters of the underground lake after descending a series of ramps.)
The Dragmire of Gerudo
Zelda - In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came. that voice which calls to me and speaks my name. And do I dream again? For now I find the Dragmire of Gerudo is there - inside my mind.

Ganon - Sing once again with me our strange duet. My power over you grows stronger yet. And though you turn from me, to glance behind, the Dragmire of Gerudo is there - inside your mind.

Zelda - Those who have seen your face draw back in fear. I am the robes you wear.

Ganon - It's me they hear.

Both - Your/my magic and your/my voice, in one combined: the Dragmire of Gerudo is there, inside your/my mind.

Offstage Voices- He's there, the Dragmire of Gerudo. Beware the Dragmire of Gerudo.

Ganon - In all your fantasies, you always knew that man and mystery.

Zelda - . were both in you.

Both - And in this labyrinth, where night is blind, the Dragmire is there/here, inside your/my mind.

Ganon - Sing, my Mistress of Magic!

Zelda - He's there, the Dragmire of Gerudo.

Ganon - Sing for me!

(Zelda begins to vocalize strangely, her song becoming increasingly extravagant.)

Scene 5 - Beyond the Lake, the next morning
The Magic of the Night
(Finally, they arrive in Ganon's lair. Downstage the candles in the lake lift up revealing giant candelabrums outlining the space. The boat turns into a bed. There is a huge pipe organ, similar to the one in Ganon's Tower in Ocarina of Time. Ganon sits at the organ and takes over the accompaniment.)
Ganon - I have brought you to the seat of sweet music's throne... To this kingdom where all must pay homage to magic - Magic.... You have come here for one purpose and one alone... Since the moment I first heard you sing, I have needed you with me, to serve me, to sing for my magic...(Changing mood) Night time sharpens, heightens each sensation; darkness stirs, and wakes imagination... silently the senses Abandon their defenses.......... Slowly, gently, night unfurls its splendor. Grasp it, sense it, tremulous and tender.... Turn your face away from the garish light of day, turn your thoughts away from cold, unfeeling light.......... And revel in the Magic of the Night! Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams! Purge your thoughts of the life you knew before! Close your eyes let your spirit start to soar! And you'll live as you've never lived before............ Softly, deftly, magic shall surround you... Hear it, feel it, closing in around you.... Open up your mind! Let your fantasies unwind! In this darkness, which you know, you cannot hide... The darkness of the Magic of the Night! Let your mind start a journey through a strange new world! Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before! Let your soul take you where you long to be! Only then can you belong to me... Floating, falling, sweet intoxication touch me, trust me, and savor each sensation... Let the dream begin, let your darker side give in! To the power of the magic spells I write, the power of the Magic of the Night!

(During all this, Ganon has conditioned Zelda to the coldness of his touch and her fingers are brave enough to stray to his cowl and caress it, with no hint of removing it. Ganon leads her to a large mirror from which he removes a dust cover and in which we see the image of Zelda, a perfect wax-face impression, wearing a wedding gown. Zelda moves slowly towards it when suddenly the image thrust its hands through the mirror towards her. She faints. Ganon catches her and carries her to the bed, where he lays her down.)

Ganon - You alone can make my song take flight... Help me cast the Magic of the Night...