The Little Girl’s PWP.
Ruto: I can’t believe he dumped me!
Malon: He didn’t dump you, you were never together.
Ruto: Shut it, cowgirl. He is so mean.
Malon: Oy. Watch what you say about my boyfriend.
Nabooru: Your boyfriend! Last time I checked he was dating Zelda.
Malon: Yeah, so shut your face, fish brain.
Ruto: That is really low.
Nabooru: So’s calling her cowgirl.
Ruto: You seriously mean to tell me that you two aren’t jealous of that tiara wearing bimbo?
Nabooru: That’s exactly what we mean.
Malon: Jeez, it isn’t that hard to figure out. They’re perfect for each other. Besides, I don’t go for blondes.
Nabooru: He’s a bit too weedy for me-
Ruto: Weedy!? He’s got pecs like hams.
Nabooru: Yeah, but I’m used to men with pecs the size of whole pigs.
Ruto: Cripes, what d’you Gerudos get up to?
Malon: I don’t really think we want to know.
Ruto: Yes we-
Malon: No we don’t!
Ruto: Fine… mean.
Nabooru: Look fish face, don’t get all uppity about it. This is probably why Link doesn’t like you. You’re way too predatory.
Ruto: Shush, I’m trying to concentrate.
Nabooru: What’s with the binocul- Oh that is sick!
Malon: What?
Nabooru: She’s spying on them!
Malon: Who?
Nabooru: Link and Zelda!
Ruto: But they’re going at it like bunnies!
Malon: Oooh! Lemme see!
Nabooru: No! That is sick and wrong! Stop it! Stop it!
Ruto: Ah! You cow! They were really expensive!
Malon: Like you actually bought them.
Ruto: Well, no, I gave the shop keeper a lap dance but-
Malon: Oh for the love of Din!
Ruto: What?!
Malon: You are so……… oooh there are just no words to describe you!
Ruto: Apart from beautiful, intelligent, funny-
Nabooru: Up your own arse, wow the list goes on.
Ruto: Ha ha, very funny.
Malon: Let’s see you crack a good joke then.
Ruto: Okay. Knock, knock!
………………………………
Ruto: Hem hem, knock, knock.
Malon: Oh, who’s there?
Ruto: Interrupting sheep.
Malon: Interrupting shee-
Nabooru: Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Ruto: Aw, hey! You ruined the punch line! I was gonna say that.
Malon: It’s not even a funny joke.
Nabooru: None of Ruto’s jokes are funny.
Ruto: They so are. Here’s a good one. A man walks into a bar, ouch! Isn’t that great!
Malon: No.
Ruto: Aw c’mon. It’s dead good.
Nabooru: No, it’s dead sad.
Ruto: Okay lets hear one of your jokes, Miss I’m-the-funniest-person-in-the-world-so-la-di-da!
Nabooru: No, because they’re all too sick to put in print.
Ruto: Aw, go on. I wanna hear one of your jokes.
Nabooru: No, I can’t tell you. But, hey! I know the biggest joke in the world.
Ruto: Ooooh! What is it?
Malon: Yeah lets hear it.
Nabooru: Ruto.
Malon: Shame!!
Ruto: Aw no! That isn’t funny at all! You’re just a bitter sour old crone.
Nabooru: If you don’t get out of my sight right now I’m going to chop you up into little pieces and sell you as cat food.
Ruto: Eeek! No please don’t do that!
Nabooru: Then get lost and I wont have to.
Malon: Yeah, get lost Ruto, you’re boring.
Ruto: Oh shut up Malon!
Nabooru: Hey, don’t talk to me like that you oversized prawn!
Malon: Yeah you insult one of us, you insult both of us.
Ruto: Oh come on, you aren’t serious.
………………………………
Ruto: Oh… you are.
Nabooru: Uh huh.
Malon: Believe it fish brain.
Ruto: Shit what is this? The red head convention?
Malon: You have three seconds to leave.
Nabooru: One.
Ruto: Oooh! I’m so scared.
Malon: Two, three times up!
Ruto: Hey that wasn’t three seconds it was only two and a-
Nabooru: THREE!!
Ruto: Ahh! Okay I’m going.
…………………………
Malon: Phew, thought she’d never leave.
Nabooru: Uh huh.
