Chapter 9: Am I Dead?
A/N: I'm really gonna murder myself. First my tablet acts up (yes, I don't own a computer) and my car just broke, so I have to take it to a mechanic. Also, my husband began to abuse our only son. Enjoy. :(
Disclaimer: This morning, I had actually morphed into Shigeru Miyamoto! What the Hell, I don't own the Legend of Zelda.
Yuga was desperate to get these portrais of the Sages and Princess Zelda to Her Grace, Princess Hilda. However, he tripped over a railing, and had to climb up the walls, as Princess Hilda hadlocked the front doors and Yuga didn't have the house keys. When he got back to where he tripped, he noticed Link. "Not one word, bitch," Yuga growled at Link who was trying to hold in his laughter. Link finally laughed, and Yuga threw him off the balcony, only where there was no ground, as Lorule was decaying after it forgot to brush it's teeth after it's Triforce exploded into sugar. Hild grabbed Link, sent him to the Gap Between Dimension, and turned to face Yuga. "Yuga, I commend you for gathering the Sages of Hyrule. Although we need that asshole you dropped into the abyss," Hilda complimented Yuga. Yuga's eyes grew horrified when he found out the bitch who called him Ghirahim was te key to Lorule's smart population. "Holy shit, how I supposed to know that?" Yuga stammered. Hilda facepalmed. "It was in the guidebook, dammit!" Hilda yelled at Yuga.Hilda shoved Yuga into a room, where he morphed into Ganon, and accidently dropped the paintings, which viciously mauled him. Meanwhile...Hilda had come to Link. "Ugh, where the Hell am I? Wait, am I dead? If I am, tell where Allyssa is!" Link cried out. "Yes, you died. And I'm afraid that Allyssa's essence never made it to Heaven," Hilda falsely assured the Hero. She was met with silence "I'M ACTUALLY DEAD?! DAMMIT! I NEVER GOT TO VIEW PORN!" Link screamed.
"Actually, I'm just messin' with ya. Your in the Gap Between Dimensions-" Hilda started, but a portrait of Gulley zipped by. Link could've sworn he saw Gulley holding up the middle finger. "Just go gather up the paintings," Hilda muttered. "But Gulley scares me," Link complained in a littl kid's voice. "GO DO IT, DAMMIT!" Hilda screamed before sending Link to Lorule's Blacksmith.
Hahahaha! That was probably my funniest chater in my opinion.
Peace
