*Link, Zelda, Ganon and Mido are at the bar. Link and Zelda are talking to eachother, Ganondorf is getting drunk and Mido is thinking up jokes for the show*
Zelda: So Link what are your plans for today. Are you going to be busy after the show.
Link: Me busy. Hell no I'm free for the whole week. How's about you and me go to the movies on saturday baby.
Ganondorf: *hicups* Hey...Link you want to see me drink a bottle of beer in a single gulp *belches*.
Link: Ewww! Ganon your breath smells like paint fumes.
Mido: Thats because I put paint in his water and told him it was just food coloring.
Ganondorf: Ahh you little punk. I'm gonna kick your puny ass.
*Ganon get's up and swings his fist at Mido but misses and hits the bartender by accident.
Bartender:OW!!! *falls down unconsious*
Zelda: Ganon you better stop drinking so much. Last time you drank this much you vommited on an old lady.
Link: *Laughs* Yeah and then she started hitting you with her purse.
Ganondorf: Shut up you little uh...whoa *loses his balance and falls to the ground*
Bartender: *wakes up with a black eye* Hey! You hit me you stupid Gerudo.
Link: I think we'd better get to the studio.
*at the studio Link, Zelda, Mido and Ganondorf sit at their desks*
Link: Hello and welcome ladies and gentleman to the Link show. Please say hello to my wife and musicion Zelda. My comedian Mido and my directer Ganondorf. *The audience cheers*
Link: Please welcome my guest, Impa. Ganon please lower the...hey? Where the hell did he go?!
*Ganon isn't sitting at his chair. He is in the audience stand talking to a girl*
Girl: Get away from me you freak!
Ganondorf: *hicups* Hey baby..hows it going. Hows about you and me go to the movies or something...yeah, heh heh.
*The girl reaches into her pocket book and maces Ganondorf*
Girl: Eat pepper spray you ugly loser!
Ganondorf: *covers his eyes in pain* AHHH! My eyes! I can't see wheres my desk...WHOA! *Ganondorf falls down the audience stand*
Link:GANONDORF!!! Get your pathetic ass behind your desk and pull up the curtain.
Impa: *from behind the curtain* Whats going on in there?
Ganondorf: Oh...ok. *pulls a lever that turns on the emergency sprinkler system* Whoops wrong one oh here we go *pulls the right lever and the curtain opens up to reveal Impa*
Link:You idiot! Now the whole set is soaked and so is my new tunic.
Zelda: You ruined my hair!
Mido: You ruined my new joke book! The pages are all soggy! How the hell am I gonna entertain the audience you big lumax!
Impa: Hey why is everything all wet...WHOA! *Impa slips on the wet floor and falls*Ow my head!
Ganondorf:*Laughs* Oh man...now thats funny *burps loudly*
Link:*Takes his coffee mug and throws it at Ganon. It smashes on his head* Take that you drunken weirdo!
Ganondorf:OW!!! HOT COFFEE! HOT! HOT!
Zelda: Nice one Link. That should shut him up for a while.
Link: Welcome to the show Impa. Please have a seat and ignore Ganon he's just a little drunk tonight.
Impa: Jeepers! I've never seen Ganondorf like this. No wonder his speech is all slurred.
Ganondorf: Hey Impa *Hicup* hows about a date. Heh heh, I know you want me.
Impa: If you touch me I'm calling the cops!
Link: Allright. Calm down you 2. Anyway Impa how has your life been now that Zelda is no longer a child and therefore does not need you as a bodyguard anymore?
Impa:Well life has been pretty good. I went back to Kakariko village only to find that some moron moved into my house so I kicked him out.
Mido:Isnt that the house with the cow in it?
Impa:Yeah! That stupid cow made the house smell like crap. It took me 6 bottles of air fresehener to get that foul smell out.
Zelda:How unfortunate. Something like that happened to a friend of mine. She stood too close to a candle in her room and her hair caught on fire.
Link:Whoa! Burning hair smells bad you know.
Zelda:Exactly. The smell didn't go away for 3 days.
Ganondorf:*holds up a beer bottle* Hey guys look. *he takes some gasoline and a rag and makes a molotov cocktail* Look, a molotov cocktail.*belches* Me and my friends make these all the time and we burn stuff. Heh heh...yeah..I love fire.
Mido:Hey be careful with that. Setting stuff on fire isn't funny.
Ganondorf: Bah! Youre a mediocre comedian...whoops. *drops the molotov cocktail and Ganon is engulfed in flames*
Zelda: *puts her hands to her face* OH MY GOD!!
Ganondorf:AHHHHHH!!! OHHH GOD!!! HELP!. Ganondorf jumps from his desk and runs around in circles, screaming*
Link: Hold on Ganondorf! *Grabs a fire extinguisher and puts Ganon out* Err...are you ok?!
Ganondorf: *coughs* I think so. How do I look?
Link: You look freaking horr..uh...I mean you look great.
Zelda: I'll call an ambulance *takes out her cell phone*. Hello, police. My friend is hurt please send an ambulance to Hyrule studio. Thanks, bye.
Ganondorf:Ohh...man. I am in so much pain now.
Mido: Well thats what you get for playing with fire.
*the ambulance arrives and takes Ganondorf away*
Doctor:He'll be ok but his face is ruined. He should be back in shape in a few weeks.
Link:Ok, thanks.
*doctor walks out. Ambulance drives away*
Impa: Poor Ganon. I actually feel sorry for the poor bastard.
*long pause*
Link, Zelda, Mido and Impa:Oh well.
Link:Anything else you'd like to tell us Impa?
Impa:Yeah. I got a new car. It's a red hummer. I can't believe how big they are.
Mido: Oh man, I've always wanted a hummer. How did you manage to pay for it?
Impa:I didn't. I stole it from the guy who used to live in my house.
Zelda:So that's why that guy walks home from work.
Link:Ok since we're almost out of time. Goodnight everyone and tune in next time for The Link Show.
