The Little Girl’s PWP.

Ruto: I can’t believe he dumped me!

Malon: He didn’t dump you, you were never together.

Ruto: Shut it, cowgirl. He is so mean.

Malon: Oy. Watch what you say about my boyfriend.

Nabooru: Your boyfriend! Last time I checked he was dating Zelda.

Malon: Yeah, so shut your face, fish brain.

Ruto: That is really low.

Nabooru: So’s calling her cowgirl.

Ruto: You seriously mean to tell me that you two aren’t jealous of that tiara wearing bimbo?

Nabooru: That’s exactly what we mean.

Malon: Jeez, it isn’t that hard to figure out. They’re perfect for each other. Besides, I don’t go for blondes.

Nabooru: He’s a bit too weedy for me-

Ruto: Weedy!? He’s got pecs like hams.

Nabooru: Yeah, but I’m used to men with pecs the size of whole pigs.

Ruto: Cripes, what d’you Gerudos get up to?

Malon: I don’t really think we want to know.

Ruto: Yes we-

Malon: No we don’t!

Ruto: Fine… mean.

Nabooru: Look fish face, don’t get all uppity about it. This is probably why Link doesn’t like you. You’re way too predatory.

Ruto: Shush, I’m trying to concentrate.

Nabooru: What’s with the binocul- Oh that is sick!

Malon: What?

Nabooru: She’s spying on them!

Malon: Who?

Nabooru: Link and Zelda!

Ruto: But they’re going at it like bunnies!

Malon: Oooh! Lemme see!

Nabooru: No! That is sick and wrong! Stop it! Stop it!

Ruto: Ah! You cow! They were really expensive!

Malon: Like you actually bought them.

Ruto: Well, no, I gave the shop keeper a lap dance but-

Malon: Oh for the love of Din!

Ruto: What?!

Malon: You are so……… oooh there are just no words to describe you!

Ruto: Apart from beautiful, intelligent, funny-

Nabooru: Up your own arse, wow the list goes on.

Ruto: Ha ha, very funny.

Malon: Let’s see you crack a good joke then.

Ruto: Okay. Knock, knock!

………………………………

Ruto: Hem hem, knock, knock.

Malon: Oh, who’s there?

Ruto: Interrupting sheep.

Malon: Interrupting shee-
Nabooru: Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Ruto: Aw, hey! You ruined the punch line! I was gonna say that.

Malon: It’s not even a funny joke.

Nabooru: None of Ruto’s jokes are funny.

Ruto: They so are. Here’s a good one. A man walks into a bar, ouch! Isn’t that great!

Malon: No.

Ruto: Aw c’mon. It’s dead good.

Nabooru: No, it’s dead sad.

Ruto: Okay lets hear one of your jokes, Miss I’m-the-funniest-person-in-the-world-so-la-di-da!

Nabooru: No, because they’re all too sick to put in print.

Ruto: Aw, go on. I wanna hear one of your jokes.

Nabooru: No, I can’t tell you. But, hey! I know the biggest joke in the world.

Ruto: Ooooh! What is it?

Malon: Yeah lets hear it.

Nabooru: Ruto.

Malon: Shame!!

Ruto: Aw no! That isn’t funny at all! You’re just a bitter sour old crone.

Nabooru: If you don’t get out of my sight right now I’m going to chop you up into little pieces and sell you as cat food.

Ruto: Eeek! No please don’t do that!

Nabooru: Then get lost and I wont have to.

Malon: Yeah, get lost Ruto, you’re boring.

Ruto: Oh shut up Malon!

Nabooru: Hey, don’t talk to me like that you oversized prawn!

Malon: Yeah you insult one of us, you insult both of us.

Ruto: Oh come on, you aren’t serious.

………………………………

Ruto: Oh… you are.

Nabooru: Uh huh.

Malon: Believe it fish brain.

Ruto: Shit what is this? The red head convention?

Malon: You have three seconds to leave.

Nabooru: One.

Ruto: Oooh! I’m so scared.

Malon: Two, three times up!

Ruto: Hey that wasn’t three seconds it was only two and a-

Nabooru: THREE!!

Ruto: Ahh! Okay I’m going.

…………………………

Malon: Phew, thought she’d never leave.

Nabooru: Uh huh.