Summary: A crap load of pwp to show that I'm still alive... But whatever, I'll probably just delete it soon anyways.
Categories: Fan Fiction Characters: Link (OoT & MM)
Genres: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 10 Completed: No
Word count: 3560 Read: 87324
Published: Apr 29, 2005 Updated: Aug 29, 2005
Of Men and Monkeys by Burn
It is 11:00 on a satarday night. Burn is sitting at his computer, which is of course logged on to Kasuto.net. By his side, or should we say on his hand, is his brother, Eddy D. Monkey. Who happens to be a puppet. You heard me. Burn's brother is a stuffed monkey puppet. You got a problem with it? Cuase if you do thats specieism and puppetism. And specieism and puppetism are wrong. And so is Barbra Striesand in a string bikini.
Burn: Hmmm... What could I write about.
Eddy: I don't know... What do you want to write about?
Burn: I don't know... Maybe we could do the ultimate crossover story!
Eddy: Wha?
Burn: You heard me! WE could cross everything with Zelda!
Eddy: You don't even like crossover stories!
Burn: Oh yeah, that's right.
Eddy: I know! Why don't we listen to German rock music to give you ideas!!
Burn: Better yet, let's sing German rock music!!
Burn picks up his guitar that comes out of nowhere, just like all of Link's items. See, this is Zelda related! But Barbra Striesand in a string bikini isn't.
Burn: (bangs on the guitar strings) HEY YOU YOU YOU YOU PRETTY YOUNG LADY WHERE YOU GOIN WHERE YOU SLEEP TONIGHT? SUNDAY YOU NEED LOVE MONDAY BE ALONE (do do do do do dododo do do) SUNDAY YOU NEED LOVE MONDAY BE ALONE (do do do do do dododo do do).
Eddy: You've got to turn the amp on, dumbass!
Burn: (drops the guitar) Did you just speak a profanity on a sunday morning?!
Eddy: No I spoke a profanity on a saturday night!
Burn: Oh... Still, it's bad! BAD MONKEY! BAD BAD BAD!
Eddy: DON'T HIT ME!! I'm sorry!
Burn: Good.
Eddy: Ok, let's try again.
Burn plugs in his amp and tries again. Even though for some reason Eddy is a puppet and you need two hands to play a guitar, He is hanging in the air doing headbanger.
Burn: YOU GONNA LEAVE HER LEAVE HER OUT ON THE STREETS SUNDAY YOU NEED LOVE MONDAY BE ALONE THEN A WHOLE BUNCH OF CRAP IN GERMAN I DON'T UNDERSTAND SUNDAY YOU NEED LOVE MONDAY BE ALONE!
Eddy: THANK YOU GERMANY!
Burn: ALOHA, BITCHES!
Eddy: (gasps) Profanity on a Sunday! BAD HUMAN! BAD BAD BAD!!
Burn: AHHHHHHH!!
Eddy: Why did you say aloha anyways?
Burn: It's German isn't it?
Eddy: No, it's Hawaiian.
Burn: How do you spell Hawaiian anyways?
Eddy: I don't know. Ask the disembodied voice.
Who me? I don't know. But this seriously wasn't as funny as your normal work, Burn.
Burn: The monkey's distracting me.
Eddy: Hey, shut up!
Bad! Don't distract the author! BAD MONKEY! BAD BAD BAD! I can't punish you though. I'm just a disembodied voice.
Burn: Where's the voice coming from anyways?
Eddy: Maybe it's coming from that curtain over there!
No! Don't pull that curtain!
Eddy: (pulling the curtain then running away) HOLY CRAP IT'S BARBRA STRIESAND IN A STRING BIKINI!
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.