Chapter 3: He blew up The Eastern Palace
Author's Note: From here on out, things will become more interesting. Remember, I haven't played this game since March, so I don't remember the dungeons. You'd be shocked at what I have in store :).

Link had sped out of Sarhasla's house, leaving behind a trail of smoke that burnt the entire village in seconds. Link decided to go to the Cucco pe, and after screaming, the Cucco Lady took pity on him, giving him 9999 rupees and a heart container. Link then decided to get Osfala, depite the fact he was a major asshole everyday. And... he bumped into a witch named Irene. "Hiya, I'm Irene! Take this here bell, and don't complain if don't work. I made it in about three minutes," she said, throwing it at his penis. Hard. "WHAT THE FUCK?!" Link screamed, getting hit in the elbow by a bomb. "DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT TAKING MY SCREAMING BLOOD WAVES BITCH!" Gulley screamed a mile away. Sarhasla was quiet. Yuga was quiet. Midna was quiet. Demise was quiet. Fix-It Felix, athis wedding, was quiet. Hans was kssing a crown. Link picked up the bomb whic had not blown up yet. "We're off to see Ghirahim!" Link exclaimed happily, having no memory of what happened at the Sanctuary. He sped off to the Eatern Palace, and...bumped into a gate. Link screamed, noticed Ravio packing up his equipment, and You could swear you saw the gears turning in his head. "GIMME YER EQUIPMENT!" Link screeched.
"Augh, I swear to Hell, I didn't convert your house into a Community Center!" Ravio screamed begging for mercy. Link's eye twitched. "OH THAT'S IT! PREPARE TO DIE!" Link screeched like a maniac, pulling out a electric saw. Another bomb hit him in the eye. Link polished it and placed it next to the other bomb. Ravio had already left, and dropped his equipment. He pulled out the money for the items, put it in an envelope.and sent to his house. Link noticed the switches, looked at his arrows, and Irne facepalmed. "Allow me to take you to the Eastern Palace before a map and banana juice start making out," Irene said, lowering her broom. "What the Hell was that abot?" Link demanded coldly. Irene ignored him. He saw Osfala, and a swearing contest began that took so long I won't add it in here. Osfala trampled Link, nd Link glanced at his bombs and threw them inside. The catch? The palace blew up, revealing Osfala as a painting and Yuga. Yuga screamed and shot magic in random directions, throwing Link towards a rock, turning him into a painting and taking off before Link got out and showed off more stupidity. Hours later, Sarhasla came by, tapped Link, and told him, Hyrule Castle was on HOLY SHIT, Fire! Sarhasla smiled, knowing Link would get killed.

And, I'm thinking of changing the rating. And, most of this doesn't even make sense or follow most of the plot.
Peace?