Chapter 7: Bakers
Author's Note: This will be more interesting. Please review.

Upon Link plummeting down the Tower of Hera, he landed right in front of the Sanctuary...on Dampe's head. "WHAT THE HELL BITCH?!" Dampe screamed, throwing him at the river. Link groaned, and decided to use the bell Irene gave him. Remember when Irene said she threw it together in three minutes? "Augh! That thing sounds horrible!" Irene screamed. She picked him up and threw him at his home, now converted into a community center. When Link stepped inside, there was an argument over wives and coffee. "I'm telling you Jez, she was never your goddamn wife! You know marriage to beer ain't been made legal till next week!" one man screamed at another man. "Hur, your such a moron! I'm gonna create an order called... the Jedi Order!" Jez screamed at Hur. "You do that, I'm gonnacreate a Sith Order!" Hur screamed at Jez. They both stormed off, and thats how the the Jedi Order and Sith Order was created. Link saw Ravio holding a green rod, took it, and stormed off to his grandma Syrup's house near Zora's Domain. He sampled a red potion, and went to cliff when he noticed a Zora. "Hey shortie, can't swim?" Link taunted. "SON OF A BITCH!" it screamed, throwing him at Zora's Domain. "Shit, I threw him and I can't swim," the Zora muttered. Meanwhile, Link knocked into a shaggy looking guy, whick resulted in the guy losing a golden scale. Link grabbed it, poked the guy with a red rupee, and decided to visit Zora's Domain Gift Shop. However, Queen Oren's advisor was searching for said golden scale, and once he saw Link with it, he dialed Zora11, and Link was thrown in prison once the police arrived. They were going to make him stare at the Great Fairy, but she decided to put on a Kokiri dress, making a nudity punishment not the best. Link slouched against the wall, and a nearby Zora screamed, for Link had disappeared. Taking advantage of this, he slid through the bars, and escaped Zora's Domain. He took a second to compose himself, but Irene, who had revealed to love child abuse, picked him up,and threw him at the bakery. Link walked inside, and smelled the pies and cookies baking. "Gimme yer cookies!" Link demanded like a child. Oh wait, he is a child. "We can't sell these!" the boss of this dungeon cried. "COOOOOKKKKKIIIEEEEEESSSSSSS!"Link screeched like a maniac. The boss threw a Heart Container and the Pendant of Wisdom with a couple of cookies at him. "Now leave us alone!" the boss screamed. Link exited whensuddenly, he found himself in front of the Master Sword. He climbed up the pedestal and.....................................................................................................................................the sword didn't budge. "Aha, an electric cord! The goddesses are clever," Link observed.
-In the Sacred Realm-
"Oi, our plan with the cord failed," Farore reported. Din held up the symbol of fire tornadoes and disaster, otherwise known as the middle finger of God. "Stop acting like a bitch, Din!" Nayru complained. "And Farore, that goddamn Russian accent is getting on my fucking nerves!" Nayru snapped at Farore. Meanwhile, the chapter ended.

Yeah, I'm losing motivation.
Peace