Damn you, Ganondorf. Not only have you stolen the Triforce and shamed the Land of Hyrule, but now you have kidnapped Zelda! I vow by the crest on my hand that I...

MMMMMM, COOKIES....

Hey, over there, SHUT UP!! And get the hell away from my cookies! I just baked those!!

SCREW YOU STUPID GIRLY MAN!!

Who the hell do you think you are?!

I am Arnold Schwarzenegger! OWOWOWOW!!

Hey... Shouldn't you be governing California?!

NO! They don't like me in California anymore. My approval rating is under 32%!

That sucks...

THEY ARE ALL STUPID GIRLY MEN WHO TOUCH THEMSELVES AT NIGHT!!!!

I didn't need to know that...

I NEED STEROIDS FOR MY TIGHT BUTT CHEEKS!!! OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!

What the hell?!

IT'S HUNTING US!!!!!

Mr. Schwarzenegger... stop... Mr. Schwarzen... PUT THE NEEDLE DOWN!

NO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! IT'S A NEW KIND, IT DOESN'T SHOW UP ON THE URINE TEST, SEE?!

YOU JUST PEED ON ME, YOU FREAK!!!

GET DOWN! GET... GET DOWN! GET IN THE CHOPPER?!

WHAT THE HELL?!

I'LL BE BACK! WITH STRIPPERS! IF THE MEDIA FINDS OUT I'LL JUST PRETEND I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS WRONG!!

GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!

THEN GIVE ME A COOKIE!

HELL NO!! THOSE ARE MINE!

THEN TAKE THIS!!

YOU PEED ON ME AGAIN!

YES, MY PENIS IS TINY FROM STEROIDS, BUT I HAVE A MASSIVE BLADDER!!

PUT YOUR DAMN SPEEDO BACK ON!!

I'M SORRY MARIA, THE STRIPPERS TRICKED ME!!!!

WHAT THE HELL?!

QUIT SAYING THAT! AND QUIT TALKING IN ALL CAPS, IT'S ANNOYING!

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, ASS-WIPE!!..... IS THAT A ROCKET LUANCHER?!

GET DOWWWWWWNNNNN!!!!!!!

OH, GOD!! YOU JUST BLEW MY ARM OFF!!!

OWOWOWOWOOWOWOWOWOOWOWOWOWOWOOWOWOWOWOWOWOW! STRIPPERS AND STEROIDS! PARTY FUN TIME!!

YOU BLEW MY FREAKIN' ARM OFF!!

Remember, kids, Video game violence isn't funny.

WHY DID YOU DO THAT!

As you can see, Link is in large amounts of pain right now. He can never use that arm again.

GOD, IT HURTS!!

So, remember, video game violence is serious. CALIFORNIA KIDS, MAKING A DIFFERENCE!!!

*SOBS*