Narrator: Our story begins at the beautiful Hyrule Castle Town.
[No response]
Narrator: *Ahum* I said: Our story begins at the beautiful Hyrule Castle Town.

[Black screen disappears; Hyrule Castle Town is now shown on the screen]

Narrator: Good, now we can begin our story *sigh*
On a sunny morning the Hyrule Market is very crowded (as usual) and our young hero, Link, is almost squished by two *not so very thin* women. Being squished and almost trampled all the time, Link finally can breathe again, for he is now standing in front of the gate to Hyrule Castle.

Guard: Good morning, boy. I see you were almost squished and trampled all the time by all those people in town, weren’t you?
Link: *STARE*
Guard: Riiiight… So, erm, why are you here anyway? Little boys like you shouldn’t be hangin’ around the castle gates you know…
Link: I know.
Guard: …
Link: I’m just here to see the princess.
Guard: You—want—to—see the princess?
Link: DUH That’s what I just said.
Guard: *LAUGH* you want to see the princess?
Link: baka
Guard: You can be arrested for insulting the royal guards!
Link: Like I care… Now let me through.
Guard: no
Link: Listen, dude, I’ll get to the princess anyway, so just let me through and save you some trouble, ok?
Guard: HAHA! Don’t make me laugh again, boy! You’re the one who will get trouble!
Link: Fine, then you’ll won’t let me through. See ya, dude *walks away*
[5 minutes later]
Link: *WAVE* Yo!
Guard: *turns around*What the— How did you get on the other side of the gate?!
Link: You would looove to know, don’t you? Well, I’m not telling *nyah*
Guard: *YELL* Get back here, boy!
Link: *NYAH*

Narrator: 15 minutes later our hero arrives at the courtyard of Hyrule Castle where the princess of Hyrule, Zelda, is picking her no…erm, picking some flowers

Link: *YELL* YO! ZELDA!
Zelda: *GASP* Hello Link, wasn’t expecting you today
Link: I thought you could see the future…sheesh…you suck
Zelda: *insulted* Listen, Link, I see the future when something bad happens, not if it will rain or there will be sunshine. So, I didn’t know you were coming to see my pretty face
Link: Suuuuuure Zelda, whatever
Zelda: Why you’re here anyway?
Link: Dunno, I was bored
Zelda: you were bored?
Link: You deaf or something? *investigates Zelda’s ears*
Zelda: *WHACK* get away from me
Link: why did ya do that? *sob, sob, sob*
Zelda: [irritated]stop acting like a baby
Link: I’m not a baby, 10 years ago I was a baby, now, I’m the future Hero of Time *heroic pose + big smile*
Zelda: yes, yes, of course, sure, whatever you say… *sigh*
Link: Wanna play a game?
Zelda: What game?
Link: “Whack the princess” *evil grin*
Zelda: *SHOCK* no thank you *runs away, bumps into Impa*
Link: *LAUGH*
Zelda: [angry] Not funny
Impa: What’s going on here?
Link: We were just about to play “Whack the princess” *cute, innocent smile*
Impa: YAY! Sounds like fun! *grabs mallet*
(Hannah: I have no idea where that mallet came from, but who cares anyway? This already doesn’t make sense, neither do I *smile*)
Zelda: [running through the courtyard] HELP MEEEEE!!!!
Link: WEEEEEEEE!!!! [singing] “Whack the princess with a mallet, whack her on the head, whack the princess, whack the princess, whack her on the head!”
Impa: yay! this is fuuuuuun! *starts singing stupid song with Link*

Narrator: This is cruel
Hannah: I knoooooow…*evil grin*
Narrator: You are insulting Nintendo® and The Legend of ZeldaTM Ocarina of TimeTM!!
Hannah: Yep *smile*
[Back to the nonsense story]

Link: Zeldaaaaaaaaaaaaa stand still!
Zelda: *CRY* NOOOOOOO!!!
Link: PLEEEEEEEAAAAAASE?
Zelda: NO!!!
[2 hours later]
Link: *huff, huff* Zelda please stand still
Zelda: No, no, no!
Impa: *throws mallet away, hits one of the castle guards on the head, guard sees stars, then falls on the ground, he has ouwy and a big bruise on his head*
Link: Oww…that must’ve hurt…
Impa: *nod, nod*
Link: … Why did you throw the mallet away? Now you can’t play “Whack the princess” anymore
Impa: I got bored
Link: I’m hungry
Zelda: *wave, wave, wave* hey! I’m still here! listen! hello!
Link: shaddup Zelda, you sound like Navi
Zelda: Speaking of Navi, where did she go?
Link: *evil grin*
[Flashhhhh to Navi]
Navi: Hello! Hey! Listen! Hello! Get me outta here! HEY! Get me outta this stupid bottle!
The guy that buys fairies, bugs and other stuff from Link: Ohh…niiiiice faaaairyyyy! pretty, pretty!
Navi: GRRR!! LET ME OUT! HEEEEEY!!!!!

[Back to Link, Zelda, Impa and all the castle guards ]

Zelda: …
Link: I’m hungry
Impa: me bored, me throw deku nut, then me disappear
Zelda: *pat, pat* yes, you do that, Impa

*Impa throws deku nut, then disappears… or something like that*

Link: still hungry
Zelda: yes, I know that
Link: well, do something about it then
Zelda: *argh* here is my cell phone, order a pizza or something, whatever
Link: *uses cell phone, orders pizza*
Ganondorf: Ganondorf’s Pizza Palace, can I help you?
Link: Hello I would like a pizza, pretty please
Ganondorf: Wat the--? You again? *CRY*
Link: Hello, mister, I would like a pizza, pretty please
Ganondorf: *sigh* ok… what KIND of pizza would you like?
Link: a pizza
Ganondorf: *sigh* What KIND of pizza?
Link: Mister, I’m hungry, I want a pizza
Ganondorf: [annoyed] YES, I KNOW THAT! WHAT KIND OF PIZZA DO YOU WANT?
Link: *yell* Don’t you yell at me mister! *CRY* I just want a pizza!!
Ganondorf: yes, I know that, but what KIND of pizza do you want?
Link: I want a pizza, please
Ganondorf: *ARGH* That’s IT! I GIVE UP! YOU WIN! (again) I QUIT! I hate being evil, so I started my own pizza company, but I never have any customers, so I don’t make any money and the one time someone calls, it’s YOU! And then I ask what kind of pizza you want and you don’t tell me what kind of pizza you want, so I keep asking what kind of pizza you want and you just keep saying you want a pizza! Don’t you know how frustrating it is to be the King of Evil AND to run your own company?! *CRY* I’ll just go ask for a job at the perfumery!
Telephone: *CLICK* the guy you called hung up, so HANG UP THE PHONE thank you *CLICK*
Zelda: And? You ordered a pizza?
Link: I tried, but the guy I talked to over the phone was yelling at me, and then he was whining and then he hung up.
Zelda: So, you didn’t order a pizza?
Link: No
Zelda: pity
Link: yes
[silence]

*Suddenly a cow falls from the sky and lands on Zelda*
Zelda: ow…
Link: Hey! It has a note attached
Zelda: [mumble] ow…
Link: *reads the note attached to the cow*
Note: Dump her, marry me, cow’s yours, Malon
Link: I wonder who wrote this…
Zelda: [mumble] cow…move…cow
Link: bye Zelda, I’m gonna find out who wrote this note that was attached to the cow
Zelda: [mumble] cow…
*Link leaves*

[Hyrule Field, noon]

Link: Hyrule Field, noon
Hannah: yes, that is what I wrote
Link: I’m just repeating it
Hannah: I’ve noticed
Link: You’re a girl
Hannah: Yes
Link: I’m the Hero of Time
Hannah: Yes
Link: You’re annoying
Hannah: You too
Link: You’re annoying because you’re a girl
Hannah: *grabs mallet* And you’re not a nice Hero of Time *evil grin*
Link: nice mallet… *!*
Hannah: *evil grin*
Link: not nice! *runs away*
Hannah: heheheh…

Narrator: Nobody knows were Link went when our writer had that stupid dialogue with our main character… Now we’ll never find out who that note wrote that was attached to the cow that fell on Zelda! *CRY*
Hannah: There, there… *pat, pat*
*POOF*
Link: *wave* Yo! Does one of you have a map of Hyrule, cuz, I can’t find my way ‘round Hyrule
Hannah: ta-dah! There! We found Link, yay
Narrator: I’m getting an instant-headache…
Link: Then use a paracetamol *shows paracetamol to Narrator*
Narrator: thanks
Link: Map?
Hannah: [to the person who is crazy enough to read this] Hello!
Link: What ARE you doing?
Hannah: Talking to the person who is crazy enough to read this *sweet smile*
Link: *fall*
Hannah: heheh… hero’s fallen for me *grin*
Narrator: Why am I still here, I have nothing to do… I’m so bored…
Hannah: I can’t think of any lines for you to say
Narrator: But why am I still here then?
Hannah: Because you didn’t left yet
Narrator: *fall*
Hannah: Oh dear… now the narrator’s fallen for me as well… *grin*
Hannah: [to the person who is crazy enough to read this] what’s the point of this anyway? And when does this ever finish? *sigh*
Anneleen: it never does! muhahahaha *evil laugh accompanied by a flash of lightning* ahhh... don't you just LOVE special effects? *spots Hannah* HANNAH! *glomps Hannah*
*Hannah can’t breathe because she’s being squished by Anneleen…wait…how did SHE get here?!*
Hannah: hello to you too… yes… special effects, they rule, don’t they?
*Anneleen lets go of Hannah*
Anneleen: so what are you doing here, and why are there two men lying there? *stares at link and narrator in amazement* wait a minute, is that.... WHEEEE!!! LINK!!!! *fan girlish squeak*
Hannah: Well, I’m here because I write this senseless idiot story. heheh…you’ve noticed Link already *smile* And that pathetic other guy is the narrator.
Anneleen: oh. *doesn't care* you know I KILLED my narrator? he was annoying.
Anneleen: and he did NOT do his job properly so I grabbed a chainsaw and... *spots audience* WHAT?
Hannah: Now that you’re here, you can help Link to find his way to the writer of the note that was attached to the cow that fell on Zelda.
Anneleen: a COW fell on Zelda?
Hannah: Yes… and the note that was attached says: ‘Dump her, marry me, Cow’s yours, Malon’ And now Link wants to know who wrote it.
Anneleen: woohoooooooooo! serves her right! now I REALLY wanna know who sent that!
Hannah: So, that means you’ll accompany Link on his quest to find the writer of the note?
Anneleen: accompany link?? you mean that? YAY! *does happy dance* and do I get cool armour and weapon?
Hannah: Yes, I mean it, and yes, you do
Anneleen: yay! I vote pro!! when do we go??? ...did I just RIME?
Hannah: you did? you DID!
Link: *wakes up…yes, he fell asleep* …euh? … GIRLS *jumps*
Anneleen: hiya Link *hugs link*
Link: hiya… erm… what’s your name?
Anneleen: I'm Anneleen! I'm gonna be your new buddy *smiles happily*
Link: *SHOCK* you’re gonna be my—*looks angry at Hannah*
Hannah: Listen, boy, you’re 10, I’m 13, I’m older, I’M the writer, I decide, MY rules, MY story, UNDERSTOOD?
Link: *WHIMP* ok…
Hannah: Good, we understand each other. *smiles* Now, Anneleen, choose your weapon…or something like that
Anneleen: I want the Supreme Bow Of Nk'tsantiël and the UberArmour of Superpower, ok?
Hannah: The watty-wattun?
Anneleen:.... the Supreme Bow Of Nk'tsantiël and the UberArmour of Superpower!!! jeez.... *hands book to Hannah and points them out*
Hannah: *sigh* Right, whatever… as you wish *clap, clap*
*the Supreme Bow Of Nk'tsantiël and the UberArmour of Superpower appear in front of Anneleen*
Anneleen: YAY! thank you, Hannah!
Link: Ubba— what the—
Hannah: jealous, are we, Linkii?
Link: *grunt* no… I’m never jealous
Hannah: *laugh* suuuure
Anneleen: now let's go I wanna test my shiny bow that NEVER misses and my IMPENATRATABLE armour *smiles sweetly at Link*
Link: *grunt… grunt, grunt, grunt*
Hannah: [to Anneleen] looks like you made him jealous *grin*
Anneleen: ahhh... I did? poor thing *pets Link on the head*
Anneleen: well, I won't bother him any more then, I shall go back to my own story. *looks adorably sad*
*Hannah starts to look REALLY sad*
Link: *evil smile that nobody notices, except for the one who is reading this* too bad…now you have to leave… *fake sad face*
Anneleen: well, if YOU mind I'll stay of course *evil... I mean...HAPPY smile*
Link: *gasp* no, no, no, no, no, no, it’s fine, it’s fine *smiles fake…veeeeeery fake*
Anneleen: no, really. there's no point in me leaving. now lead the way, main-but-very-weaker-character... erm... *glances at Hannah* I mean, Link.
Hannah: Ok, off you go then… Ah! Don’t forget the map.
*Link looks angry at Anneleen, then at Hannah, then grabs the map and walks away*
*Anneleen waves at Hannah and follows link with a smirk on her face*
*Narrator regains his consciousness*
Hannah: *wave* hello!
Narrator: you again?
*Hannah nods*
*Narrator faints*
Hannah: This is SO pathetic *sigh*

[Somewhere in Hyrule Field]

Link: *thinks* great, now I’m stuck with a girl…(that’s not so bad actually) that’s older than me(that is not nice) and that has much cooler and tougher weapons and armour than me…(that is REALLY bad)
*Suddenly a group of weird looking ghost-like-angry-people appear in front of Link and Anneleen*
Anneleen: hi! *waves*
Link: Do you HAVE to do that? *looks angry at Anneleen*
Anneleen: what? *smiles sweetly*
Link: GREETING those ENEMIES…geez!
Anneleen: oh THAT! well, I figured, cuz we won't be able to do that later, with either one or even both of the sides dead, so I'm just kind NOW
*Link starts to kill the creatures*
*Anneleen watches and smiles*
[10 minutes later…]

Link: HAH! I killed them all!
Anneleen: *still watching and smiling* good for you.
Link: Now you’re next… muhahahahahah!
Anneleen: *still smiling* really. Fascinating. I don’t care. CUZ I GOT BETTER ARMOUR AND WEAPONS SO YOU’LL NEVER KILL ME HAH! *jumps in exitement* *does annoying dance around link* [singing] you can’t kill me, you can’t kill me neneneeneneeeeeeee
Link: *whine* I wanna be older than you so I can kill you!! WAAH
Anneleen: there there *pets Link on the head* what d’ya say we find the master sword then?
Link: yay! Good idea *smiles*
Anneleen: indeed… *evil smile that Link can’t see*
Narrator: Do I HAVE to??
Hannah: yes you do
Narrator: *sigh* well, alright then… So our main characters head for the Temple of Time…blah
Hannah: don’t make me do the same thing to you as Anneleen did to her narrator *looks evil*
Anneleen: oh please DO
Hannah: nah…not YET *evil smiiiiiiile*
[Meanwhile]

Anneleen: hey Link, I was thinking, couldn’t it be MALON who sent the note?
*they both consider it for a moment*
L + A: nah
Narrator: ok, blah, blah, blah, 7 years later, Master Sword, blah blah…oh god I hate my job…
Hannah: I hate you
Narrator: whatever… *sigh* continue this insane story
Anneleen: so then I was like…. Oh hey link, come join us, *points at Rauru* we’re just having tea, waiting for you to… oh right.
Link: hey, I’m older than you!
Anneleen: no, you aren’t. you’ll never be! HAH HAH I’ll BEAT YOU FOREVER
Link: DOH
Narrator: CAN WE PLEASE GO AND FIND THE GIRL THAT WROTE THE STUPID NOTE AND FINISH THIS STUPID STORY!!! *ARGH*
Hannah, Link, Anneleen: CHILL
*hamster appears, Anneleen starts to chase the hamster and disappears…whatever*
Link: finally
Anneleen: (far away) OI
Link: DOH
*Malon falls from the sky, on top of the narrator and waves*
Hannah: what? I never wrote that! I SWEAR! I’m innocent
Master Sword: Face it, you cannot control this power! MUHAHAHAH
Hannah: stop it erm… you, you, you…. SWORD!
Purple frog with umbrella: hello!
Hannah: what the f---?! What’s going on here?! Who are you people…thingy…stuff? *Hannah grows 100x her size and starts tramping people, animals…WHATEVER*
Narrator: and so this epic battle continued ‘till the end of the WORLD *insane laugh*

The End…or something like that

Anneleen: I like hamsters! Wooohooo! *runs away laughing insanely*






Credits (yeah, as if we have them..)
Link - Link
Anneleen - Anneleen
Hannah - Hannah
Ganondorf - Ganondorf
Navi - Navi
Impa - some insane guy who dresses like Impa
Narrator - who knows?
Purple frog with umbrella - Mr. Timmy
Cow that fell on Zelda - Klaas Zwerver (muhahahaha)
Telephone - Tinkerbell
Master Sword - Mr. Timmy (again)
Princess Zelda - Impa
Malon - Super Mario
Special thanks
Hamster for cute appearance
Anneleen for lending her name and brilliant humour (w00t)
Everyone for laughing
Readers for reading this far
Narrator for…uhhm…nothing really…
The people from Nintendo® for creating these characters and lending them to me for writing this stupid insane story even though they didn’t actually give me permission to do that…
And the rest: I don’t care! HAH

The END
Link: DOH

Narrator: can I go home now? *is killed by insane owl*

Moral: never argue with the insane people who create this stuff… and the persons with a pen (‘cause you never know when they’ll stick it in your eyeball^^)

THE END (ARGH)