I stood there, master sword in hand, beating this monster would be so grand. I beat the stalfos and got the bow, now this despicable man would have to go. What the hell, his face went away, he jumped in a painting, my goddess’s how gay. Now how bout that I shot you down, you lost your hors, don’t sit and frown. Get on your feet I’m taking you out, I’ll chop you up to make sauerkraut. Whoa there dude, I said on your feet, if your in the air I’m dead meat. no that’s not true, I can’t give in, the monster before has too many sins. Holy crap, that’s a big ball of magic, if I get hit it’ll be tragic. I’ll smack it back at the stupid cheater, hit a homerun just like Derek jeter. Now, your on the ground, lying in pain, LET’S SEE HOW YOU LIKE THE BLADE OF EVIL’S BANE!

This dragon can fly, he has no wings, I hate this temple, and those slug things. It aint’ too fast, I think it’s snoring, why am I here I hate the dam gorons. Oh well, they gave me this kickass hammer, the least I could have done is get em outa the slammer. Now back to the dragon, he’s breathing fire, I hit him with my hammer his condition his dire. Dropping them rocks, hiding in the floor, I’ll use my sword and YOU’LL BE NO MORE!!

That water is evil, this dude really sucks, he is swinging himself at me I better duck. Al this trouble to save some dam fish, I could go for some noodles, a nice big dish. I’m getting distracted, thinking of food, why do them fish run around nude. That is nasty, especially Ruto, if not for this curse I would have to go. But Hyrule is in trouble, so I’ll use this long chain, ouch he’s squeezing me and driving me insane. I hooked him now, and dragged him close, he needs some pain, MY SWORD WILL GIVE HIM A DOSE!

Where I am, on a giant drum, when I get out I need some rum. He has two hands, he has a head, but where’s his body, he is so dead. I’ll shoot his hand, then the other, you slapped me bitch, you stupid mother. Clapping his hands, and squashing me flat, oh goddamit he ruined my hat. Now he’s in trouble, stiff as a board, I’LL KILL THIS GUY WITH THE MASTER SWORD.

These two old hags, just became one, they joined together to have some fun. Firing fire, shooting ice, you froze me bitch, that wasn’t nice. I’ll absorb those blasts, use this shield. Once, then twice, you better yield. I suppose not, they shot a third, I shoot it back at this dumbass nerd. They on the floor, using this shield was pretty smart, I’ll hit them now tear them apart. They going to heaven, what the hell, they were evil woman, oh well. I won the battle, filled the history pages, with nabooru, that’s all six sages. Now to the temple, to meet my girl, hang on Zelda, TIME TO SAVE THE WORLD.